This Burger Truck Has a Twin in Oregon. Only Oregon Feeds the Dog.

Astoria, Oregon, has exactly one smash burger. I know this because the smash burger says so. The ordering page for Coastal Smash #1 on Duane Street calls itself "Astoria's ONLY Smash Burger in town!"

The other Coastal Smash is in Bradenton. It's a food truck at Sun Lab Brewing on 17th Avenue West, and its own ordering page says it is "smashing burger coast to coast." That turns out to be a literal description. One truck sits by the Manatee River. The other is way up where the Columbia meets the Pacific, wearing a raincoat, presumably. Oregon is #1, which makes us the sequel. I'm fine with it. Sequels get the bigger budget.

Same burgers, different weather

I read both menus side by side, which is a normal thing to do on a Friday afternoon.

The names are pure beach. The Shipwreck Single. The Tsunami Bacon Double. The Beached Veggie. High Tide Guac. A kids' burger called the Ripple Wave. A Shipwreck is $13.75 on both coasts, and the Tsunami is $16.50 on both coasts. Somebody is holding the line on pricing from one ocean to the other, and I respect it.

Then there's the Pineapple Express Double: beef, bacon, pineapple, American cheese, fresh sliced jalapeños and Reese's Peanut Butter Sauce on a toasted brioche bun. $15.75 here, $16 in Astoria. Sweet, salty, hot, and then peanut butter, which the Bradenton menu also sells as a 50-cent side in case one burger's worth wasn't enough. I haven't eaten it yet. I've thought about it more than I've thought about some of my cousins.

What Florida gets

Bradenton runs the longer specials board:

• The Walk Off ($16.50): truffle aioli, red chimichurri, white American, arugula and crispy onion straws
• Trophy Smash ($17): three patties and bacon
• Bartender choice ($16.50): a spicy BBQ chicken strip on top of the beef patty, because the burger was apparently just the appetizer
• Wings: 5 for $10, 10 for $15, and ghost pepper sauce for 50 cents

Also, a Mexican Coke is $3 here and $3.50 in Oregon. We're winning something.

Both coasts get The Pickler ($15), with a dilly ranch aioli, pickles, and then pickle chips on top, a burger built by someone who heard "pickles?" and said "all of them." And both get the Yolked Up Double ($16.50), which has a fried hashbrown patty and a fried egg in there with the beef. Breakfast and dinner, one bun, no meeting required.

What Oregon gets

The Astoria menu has one line the Bradenton menu doesn't: Puppy Patty, $2.

No description. No photo. Just a two-dollar patty for the dog, sitting in the burger section like it's a perfectly normal thing to have. Bradenton has a kids' menu, wings and a breakfast sandwich. No Puppy Patty. I'm not starting a petition. I'm just saying that if a few Manatee County dogs started sitting very politely near the truck, I would understand.

Going tonight

The Bradenton truck is at Sun Lab Brewing, 803 17th Ave. W. Toast lists it open noon to 8:45 PM Friday and Saturday, noon to 7:45 Wednesday and Thursday, 4 to 7:45 Monday and Tuesday, and noon to 6:45 Sunday. Order ahead on Toast or call (941) 290-7606. Sun Lab handles the beer. It's the same Bradenton brewery Sun King tapped to brew its Florida beer, as we wrote up earlier this month.

Don't tell the dog about Oregon.

— Marina